Losing it

So as much as I have tried to stay in control today deep down it is not working. My house is a disaster. We are supposed to have company tomorrow. I guess that old saying about having a clean house relaxing you might just be true. I can't stand the mess anymore. I just literally threw everything that was on my "island" onto the dining room floor. The mess in the hallway got swept into the other hallway. I think I am going to grab trash bags and start filling them until I feel at peace. Then I can go through each bag of crap really slowly. And I mean slowly. I have no place for this stuff and no way to store it. I want to have a yard sale, but even that means I have to keep it somewhere for a while and then hope it sells, then put it back if it doesn't. I should probably donate it all to Goodwill, but I'm really poor (in case you didn't guess) and I need to sell it to have money. Maybe nobody reads this because I ramble. But even if no one does I feel better having written it. It's all about staying sane and trying to survive. One deep breathe at a time!

Control

So today has been interesting. I find myself wishing that we as women or maybe just me, could control our hormone levels a little better. I have POS and consequentlly I never really know when my period is coming. Sometimes I think that is a good thing because I think women who have a period every 28 days must get tired of only having one week a month of being normal. So sometimes I think I'm lucky that I get periods of time that I may be normal. But maybe I am just delusional. It seems my hormones still fluctuate even if I don't get my period. I'm moody, I cry, I'm beyond exhausted. All that crazy stuff. So I wish we had a dial. One that we could turn when we know we are being insane over stupid stuff. When we sweat the small stuff. You know just turn it back so we can see and breathe like normal people. Not become a screaming ball of rage because someone cut us off in traffic. Hey, a woman can dream can't she. In the meantime, I'll just try 2 survive.

Up and running

So i guess i have been really busy and haven't been around to type anything in over a year. Wow. So trying to be better about it. I guess we will find out tomorrow. Today has been a really stressful day. And the stupid thing is, it's all over a painting. I always promised myself that I would never be one of those people that starts a family feud over a simple/stupid thing. Well, guess I was wrong. My cousin took a painting that I wanted. All us grandchildren have wanted the painting over the years. It's not worth anything as far as I know. It's just a sentimental thing. Well when my mom was visiting in March my grandmother asked her if she wanted it, she said "no", because she hates the painting. So she offered it to my Aunt. My aunt took the painting and gave it to my cousin. Well, Bolivian rules dictate that if my aunt didn't want it I should have been the next one asked. I guess customs dictate that birth order is the way things should be asked. So I told my mother that I was upset that she didn't take the painting. i felt it was healthy of me to vent my frustration and sadness rather then dwell on it. She now says she will be calling my cousin to see if she can get the painting for me. I want nothing to do with my cousin. I defriended her on facebook because I can't stand her fakeness. She already takes advantage of my grandmother and when my mother calls her I'm sure it will get really messy. So world welcome to my drama. Today I had lots and lots! Prepare to hear more about it tomorrow. Maybe someone out there will listen or relate this time. I guess only time will tell. Until tomorrow world, good luck just trying 2 survive.

Movies are EXPENSIVE!

So I took my kids to the free movie at our local theatre yesterday. Since the littlest one couldn't sit long enough we went out and walked the mall. While waiting for the rest of the family I stopped and read the prices of movie tickets. Talk about outrageous. Ten dollars per a person. You can by the DVD for less then the price of bringing a date to the movie.

Well thank goodness for survey sites. Click here to go the Lightspeed Consumer Panel. For 3300 points you can get two tickets (to any movie) and a $10 gift certificate for popcorn. Sounds like a deal to me. Most of their surveys are worth about 150 points, but I usually qualify for at least one a day. Check it out and enjoy your movie as we all just try to survive.

A better Day

So yesterday was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated, which made for a good day. My niece arrived Wednesday night, so I'm an Aunt. This is my very first niece/nephew so I'm very excited. Things are good today. I wish it would quit raining as I have to take the Girl Scouts to an outdoor function tonight, but oh well. My sister in law is in an uncoroporative hospital and feels like she is doing something wrong. She isn't and I hope her confidence grows. I want to go and be there for her, but with my little ones, they won't let me in. I wish this thing would get canceled tonight so I could go be with her. I hope all is well with you my readers, as we all just try to survive.

Worn Out

So I am starting to believe that all this financial stress is taking it's toll on me physically. I am so tired all the time. I am almost paralyzed from the stress. I know what I have to do but the thought of doing anything makes me head hurt. If I could just finish the taxes that would put me in a better place, since we are getting money back, but the thought of all that work makes me freeze up. I'm almost done I just need to finish itemizing the last of my donations. If only I could find all those Goodwill receipts. I went at least six times last year. Then once that's done I need to resubmit paperwork for the house. Then I need to fill out all kind of very invasive paperwork for the people who are trying to collect money for Jake's surgery. It's not that I don't want to pay them, I just can't pay them right now. I think it's crazy that they are not willing to take what I want to pay them. I guess they will just write it off, but it's not like I'm trying to get out of paying them. Whatever, but again the thought of all that paperwork has me paralyzed. I can normally lose myself in a game or a book or something, but all I want to do is sleep. I don't even want to see or talk to people. Which doesn't really work well when your in charge of a monthly cooking group. Oh and that reminds me. Now the preschool wants ten dollars from me because I was late on Friday. Now I know that I was late (Bella lost my keys) but I think every parent should get like a three strikes and your out deal or something. I know some people are late because that is their nature (Eppie) but most people are not. It just really sucks. Ten dollars is almost as much as her tuition. So now, because I'm a moose and I feel backed into a corner, I'm tempted to just pull her out of preschool. This way I won't have to pay tuition for the rest of the year and well then I can't be late can I? I know it's not really a rational way to think, but like I said the stress is getting to me. I really don't have much left to give. I'm wondering if when I run out I just drop dead or do I just continue like the zombie I have been? For my friends I'm sorry I haven't been around or very talkative. I also think it's the time of year. I always seemed to get really depressed and antisocial during this time in my life. Ironic thing is I used to love this time of year. Now after years of disappointment I think the depression starts earlier every year. Good thing is that hopefully this will all be over by next week. Maybe then I will feel better. Maybe I will have won the lottery. That would be awesome. If I won the lottery I would get out of debt. Then I would help my best friend out some. Then I would pay for my brother to go to college. Stupid parents messed up somewhere cause they have no college fund for him. Well I think I have rambled enough for today. Check back with me tomorrow. I might still be here, just trying to survive.

Sneak Peek Publix Ad 2/25 – 3/3 (2/24 – 3/2 in some areas)

Sneak Peek Publix Ad 2/25 – 3/3 (2/24 – 3/2 in some areas)