Sleep

You know sleep is probably my favorite thing. When I don't get it I become very grouchy. I am less productive. Lately I have been tired all the time and it was really starting to bother me. I was beginning to think something might be wrong with me. That was until last night. As I was heading to bed I noticed a strange light outside my house. Upon closer investigation I noticed that my neighbor had installed a new light to "shine" upon his newly installed flag pole. Low and behold that light shines into my house and especially into my bedroom lighting it up like the early morning dawn. No wonder I can't sleep. My body is constantly thinking the sun is rising. I am so frustrated right now. I mean this was even effecting my husband's sleep. He has been tossing and turning almost every night. So now I have discovered the root of our problem, now to deal with it. I'm not sure what I have to cover that window, but before I go to sleep tonight that window will be covered. I plan on sleeping well for the first time in weeks. In the meantime, today, I will just try to survive with the sleep I have had.

Still no followers

So what does it say about ones self when they write a blog and no one reads it? Does that mean the person has no friends? Does that mean she is just waiting to be discovered? Should said writer stop writing? My answer is "no". Just because no reads this it does not in anyway shape or form invalidate me as a person. My feelings are real. My opinions are mine. My stories are mine. Maybe no one will read this, but maybe one day someone will. Maybe my kids will stumble upon this and find out what it was like to have me as a mom. Maybe I will reread this stuff and find out things about myself. Maybe this will bring back memories of my children that I have forgotten. So reader, if you find me one day, Welcome. Until then I'm just trying to survive.

Camping

Can I say that I love camping. There is just something that brings back the nostalgia of being a kid. So, we took our Girl Scouts camping this weekend. We got there a little late and had to eat in the dark. The next morning we had a great breakfast and went to Lion Country Safari. I always try to be a good example to my GS and Saturday was no different. There are really only two rules at LCS. Keep your doors closed and your windows up. Needless to say almost everyone we saw had their windows down. It infuriated the girls. They kept telling everyone to "follow the rules". We wonder why society is falling apart. Well, maybe it's because plenty of people think the rules are for those other people and not for them. I have news for you America: Get off your high horse. Those rules are for you too, stop thinking you are sooo special or entitled, you're not! The girls had a great time. Later it started to rain so we decided to go back through. Pouring down rain has a tendency to keep peoples windows rolled up. When we got back to the campsite the our tent and belongings were completely soaked. So we packed up and headed home. I hope this is an adventure they never forget. We had fun "just trying to survive".

Extreme couponer busted!

So we all know about J'aime or however she spells her name. We all know that she used coupons for items she did not buy. She decoded the system and has been committing coupon fraud. She has given couponers everywhere a bad name. Well she finally admitted in an interview that she did use coupons for items she did not buy. Confessed. But when do the handcuffs come? When does General Mills come after her? When does the grocery store file charges? I am not a fan of this woman. What I don't understand is why she hasn't gotten in trouble. She has a website or blog that taught other people her bad habits. If nothing is done (punishment) then what is to deter others from following in her footsteps? I hope anyone who thinks this is okay thinks a little before they try this. She isn't even remorseful. This is when a few bad apples can spoil a barrel. Maybe just maybe all the couponing outcries will stop her? But I doubt it. Anyone who a hoard that big has more issues then just committing fraud. Hopefully she grows and conscious and gets some help.

Writing

I always wanted to write a book. It seemed like something I could do. Then I realized that I don't have an imagination so it seemed a little out of reach. I used to write some really good poetry. I used to write in a diary. Then my husband read it. I still write every once and a while, but it's not exactly the same. I don't trust what I write. I don't trust that it is safe. Granted most of what I write is how I feel or perceive things, but others have a tendency to frown on how I feel or how people feel in general. Gotta go Grandma calls.

Mother's Day

So yesterday was Mother's Day. I actually had a wonderful time. We didn't really do anything special, but the little kids made me things and the big kids cleaned out the car. We had lunch with the in laws at Benihana's (which the little girls thoroughly loved). I spoke to my Grandmother and things were okay. I spoke with my mother and even though I couldn't really tell her she was a great mom I did manage to tell her thank you for a few things in life. Later I watched a show on Vh1 called Audrina. Not sure who the people are or what the show is really about but I caught a scene with the sister Casey and her husband. Casey did not want her mother to be around her children because of her negativity. I could totally relate. It was like watching my life on TV. I have chosen to live far away to protect my children. A few days here and there ever couple of years is fine, but more then that: NO WAY! So Mom, thanks for life and thanks for showing me what not to do. Thanks for teaching me that I could survive.

Losing it

So as much as I have tried to stay in control today deep down it is not working. My house is a disaster. We are supposed to have company tomorrow. I guess that old saying about having a clean house relaxing you might just be true. I can't stand the mess anymore. I just literally threw everything that was on my "island" onto the dining room floor. The mess in the hallway got swept into the other hallway. I think I am going to grab trash bags and start filling them until I feel at peace. Then I can go through each bag of crap really slowly. And I mean slowly. I have no place for this stuff and no way to store it. I want to have a yard sale, but even that means I have to keep it somewhere for a while and then hope it sells, then put it back if it doesn't. I should probably donate it all to Goodwill, but I'm really poor (in case you didn't guess) and I need to sell it to have money. Maybe nobody reads this because I ramble. But even if no one does I feel better having written it. It's all about staying sane and trying to survive. One deep breathe at a time!

Control

So today has been interesting. I find myself wishing that we as women or maybe just me, could control our hormone levels a little better. I have POS and consequentlly I never really know when my period is coming. Sometimes I think that is a good thing because I think women who have a period every 28 days must get tired of only having one week a month of being normal. So sometimes I think I'm lucky that I get periods of time that I may be normal. But maybe I am just delusional. It seems my hormones still fluctuate even if I don't get my period. I'm moody, I cry, I'm beyond exhausted. All that crazy stuff. So I wish we had a dial. One that we could turn when we know we are being insane over stupid stuff. When we sweat the small stuff. You know just turn it back so we can see and breathe like normal people. Not become a screaming ball of rage because someone cut us off in traffic. Hey, a woman can dream can't she. In the meantime, I'll just try 2 survive.

Up and running

So i guess i have been really busy and haven't been around to type anything in over a year. Wow. So trying to be better about it. I guess we will find out tomorrow. Today has been a really stressful day. And the stupid thing is, it's all over a painting. I always promised myself that I would never be one of those people that starts a family feud over a simple/stupid thing. Well, guess I was wrong. My cousin took a painting that I wanted. All us grandchildren have wanted the painting over the years. It's not worth anything as far as I know. It's just a sentimental thing. Well when my mom was visiting in March my grandmother asked her if she wanted it, she said "no", because she hates the painting. So she offered it to my Aunt. My aunt took the painting and gave it to my cousin. Well, Bolivian rules dictate that if my aunt didn't want it I should have been the next one asked. I guess customs dictate that birth order is the way things should be asked. So I told my mother that I was upset that she didn't take the painting. i felt it was healthy of me to vent my frustration and sadness rather then dwell on it. She now says she will be calling my cousin to see if she can get the painting for me. I want nothing to do with my cousin. I defriended her on facebook because I can't stand her fakeness. She already takes advantage of my grandmother and when my mother calls her I'm sure it will get really messy. So world welcome to my drama. Today I had lots and lots! Prepare to hear more about it tomorrow. Maybe someone out there will listen or relate this time. I guess only time will tell. Until tomorrow world, good luck just trying 2 survive.